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Dating too soon after divorce
I, fortunately, was able to mess up and not have that problem.But I came out of the emotional winter a completely different person, completely different set of priorities.
I just knew that if I did not have some sort of relationship, I did not feel whole.
I did not feel like a man if somebody was not dangling from my arm. I’ve always called it my “emotional winter.”I went through that emotional winter and I came out the other side a different person than I was before.
My head was fixed and looking in a completely different direction and I shortly thereafter met “the Queen,” who I write about all the time.
I do agree with Kyle in waiting to date after divorce until you have a better sense of who you are and like who you are.* I don’t think you have to wait until you have complete clarity on that – dating may help bring that clarity but you’ll definitely want to wait before you commit to another serious relationship.
It could be that you’ve been considering divorce for many years and you’ve done much of that self-work before you and your spouse actually separate.
In this situation you may be ready to date far sooner than someone who was surprised and shocked with the serving of divorce papers.
Kyle Bradford, my current guest has been divorced for nine years and is now engaged to be married to his Queen. It’s something that I’m going to have to continue to deal with, because I’m a very smooth talker and I can kind of talk my way out of anything, but at the end of the day, you can’t hide what’s going on inside of you and you can’t lie about that. I did not have to leave dead bodies along the way and obviously I mean that metaphorically.
Based on his own experience of dating after divorce, Kyle advises waiting a year before starting date. I’ve been a very successful person in the course of my career. I’ve got two great kids, I look relatively young for my age, I consider myself to be somewhat charismatic and once I get over the initial introduction, I can talk to anybody. I remember to this day and I’m not going to even lie about this.
And since misery loves nothing so much as company it is difficult to withstand the temptation to forget about what ails you by jumping into another relationship.
The problem with using other people as heartbreak menders is that it can turn into a pattern.